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Broken In

At last, 2012 is over.

I can’t help feeling a wave of relief that the rough year is past. Thankfully, notions of the beginning and end of seasons brought about by time are intangible things which are useful beyond their basic time-ly functions (such as… figuring out where you are in the entirety of history) because even though nothing really happens (we don’t feel older after birthdays, or a New Year) it’s perceived and accepted like something does. And so, here marks one chapter of the story.

Before I bombard the internet world with my travel photos, this post is my way of making peace with the year that broke my heart the most. For the most part, I felt exhausted, sleepy, taken advantage of, tense, unattractive, and in need of a comedy show for most nights. I enjoyed treating (and cooking for) the people I loved to delicious food. I learned to appreciate wine and beer. And I’ve never sworn so unbecomingly.

Plus I got shat on, for the third time, by a bird.

It was a year I unsuspectingly really loved someone, only for her to mysteriously disappear. Eli, you stupid cat. Because of you I am now FAT! (it rhymes!) But wherever you are, please be warm, safe, and happy. (and alive)

It was a year of challenging projects, which brought about my new hair. The aspect of dealing with and orchestrating people was especially emphasized. As expected, I gave a great deal of myself in and for the process of creation, good design, and good spaces. Pouring yourself out in anything makes you vulnerable, which is why you should always keep your passion and self-respect in check.

It was also a year of doors closing, of projects not pushing through, or of projects becoming something completely different. Figuring out how to handle such situations was unavoidable.

It was a year of switching telecom empires like a madwoman, only to realize they’re the same kind of evil. (can someone put up a better telecom service please?) You wouldn’t believe how many visits I’ve made to the service centers.

On the other hand, it was a year of seeing certain bad habits in motion (tendency to get stepped all over, I’m ashamed to say. Guilty complexes be damned!) and learning to break out of them. It was a year of reaping a gazillion lessons about relationships with people, breakups, learning about how to manage design projects, learning to deal better with personal disappointments (for a girl who metaphorically strangles herself every time), and learning to let go and laugh about the shit and glories of life… when it all comes down to it.

But you know how they say it has to get really bad before it becomes better? (always darkest before the dawn) Well, it’s true for one important area, which I’m really grateful for. It was hard for you, you, you, and you. But we’re closer and the wiser for it.

The highlights of the year include travelling with friends and family, cooking more (veggies, yay!), sleeping on the couch with a tiny furball on my chest, a surprise party for my dad, reading more, one special project with the most amazing client, new favorite people, and more adventures with my long time favorite people who are dearest to me.

(and yay, The Hobbit and Les Miserables were in cinemas!)

I’d like to think that 2011 and 2012 have broken me in for better times ahead.

I won’t say 2013 will be amazing. But I’ve experienced enough to know that one can’t be too rigid and structured in facing life. When doors close, it sucks, but it forces you to seek out other doors and dream more exploringly. I’ve learned that you’re not only one thing or interest or passion at a time, but you can be several, so don’t put yourself in a box. It’s not wise to see life in one direction alone, but we should open our eyes to the different possibilities, be bold enough to explore them, and be flexible enough with the unpredictable way things fall into place. (you can’t always get what you want)

Quote of the year: The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. (from Pirates of the Caribbean)

If you’re miserable, you can’t blame anyone but yourself. Whoever and whatever you are today is the product of the decisions you’ve made. Nobody else’s.

To end, some skin care tips. Sleep deprivation will make you look older, grow eye luggages, and make your skin look older. Eating sweets will make you gain weight, risk getting cavities (just had four removed the other day), and make your skin look older so they better be DAYUM worthy sweets. Do not take sunblock and moisturizer for granted. Clean your makeup brushes everyday(ish). And lastly, wear long, moisture wicking socks when you wear boots in temperate climates or risk getting “eternal sock lines.”

(for photo credits and sources, please click on the photos)

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